My living room is covered in a sea of toys, crushed and mutilated boxes, twisty-wires, wrapping shreds, plastic bags, instructions, chords, wires, and books.

 

My kitchen is buried under a layer of flour dust, dirty plates, half-drunk juice cups, stray silverware, soaking serving trays, and more toys with instructions.

 

My bedroom, being the site of stocking-opening at 7 this morning, remains the home of all of the contents of everyone's stockings which weren't worn or used today.

 

My children are sleeping.  Soundly.  More exhausted than I remember them ever being in their lives. 

 

My husband is still awake, and it's 9:30 at night. :)

 

My brain is empty...which is huge...with the exception of the eight notes I learned to play on my guitar tonight.

 

My heart...

 

is full.

 

Thank you, Lord, for the most incredible Christmas present I have ever received...a precious gift of peace today. 

Nothing brilliant to write...just wanted to update pictures.  Today, I promised the kids that on a break from school, we would take our Christmas pictures.  You see, all it takes is a comment from my husband about why I'm saving all of the envelopes from Christmas cards we have received this season for whom I don't currently have addresses when I never do anything with the Christmas cards I write or make anyway.  It's amazing how a little nah-nah-na-nah-naaaah creeps into me.  Yes, I'm sending Christmas cards this year out of spite.  Sweet, aren't I?  :)  Well, the pictures took an hour...much longer than I had planned...but it was worth it.  Even the fussing over hair, the fussing over Bryson's outfit, the fussing because Lainie's sleeves rubbed wrong...it was worth it.

 

The kids were so adorable.  Bryson and Reasa each went through their moments of, "Mom, I really don't want to be doing this," but for the most part, they were just adorable.  The trick is always getting them all to be adorable, looking in the same direction, keepin their eyes open, with proper lighting, proper shutter speed, proper shutter-finger-action all at the same time.  That part is not so easy.  I took approximately 100 pictures and am totally thrilled with four of them.  Unfortunately, only two of them got used in the official card, and of course, I'm not posting them here until after I send out the cards.  I will update the pictures again after everyone has received their cards and Christmas presents. 

 

I hope you're all not losing your minds preparing for Christmas.  I hope you have found some peace amidst the chaos.  I think tomorrow the kids and I are going to make candy and cookies and eat a ton of dough in the process.  That sounds peaceful.  :)  I'm going to pray for two feet of snow to fall just on my house (because I know there are some of you out there just praying that your kids have school) tomorrow, so we can't leave for anything.  Hee hee.  It's a nice thought anyway.

 

Blessings!!

Today I finally admitted how quickly Reasa is growing up.  After a conversation with my mother, in which she agreed with me, I admitted it to myself.  I'm not going into details.  She would die if I did, and probably not now as much as she would in 5 years...I can hear it now, "Oh my gosh, MOM, why did you put this on your BLOG???!!!"

 

So, if any of you have figured out how to slow time, and make your child not grow up at the speed of light, I'm all ears.  I feel like we're on a collision course with teenage-hood, and it terrifies me...like the out-of-control Rav 4 we saw after the fact tonight, which had apparently bounced back and forth from barrier wall to median on the black-ice-covered highway, eventually winding up facing the wrong direction in the middle of both lanes, smoking and battered.  Happy thought, I know. 

 

When she was 2 months old, on Mother's Day even, we put Reasa back into God's hands, dedicating her to Him.  We entrusted her to his care, promising to do our best as her parents to lead her on a path which leads to Him, to surround her with Godly influences, to bring her up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord."  Should I worry about her teenage years?  Absolutely not.  We have placed her in God's hands.  We adore her, but He has it all under control.  Worrying will get me nowhere. 

 

I know this.  In my heart, I know this.

 

In my very, very human, very, very weak mind, I keep having to remind myself. 

 

She's not even nine.  I do need to chill out just a bit.  But we keep quickly hitting new milestones.  The reality is that time is passing quickly.  Too quickly.  And we do need to be prepared. 

 

So how 'bout this:  rather than telling me how you've figured out how to slow time, got any great resources for approaching adolescence with your daughters?

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday about free will.  You know...as in "God gave us a free will."  The opportunity to make our own choices, live our own lives. 

 

How do you think it works? 

 

Do we have complete freedom to choose?  Are divinely appointed options placed in our paths or is it random?  And if God already knows what we will choose, ultimately, does that mean we really have "free will?"  How narrow are the choices?  What if we make a crummy life choice really early along the path--does that determine our future outcome--does it doom us to second- or third- or fourth-best with everything else in life?  Does it determine the choices we are given, or would those same choices have existed no matter what we chose to begin with?

 

Yeah, maybe these are duh questions.  I don't know.  They're questions I'm filing away in the "ask God when I get to heaven" box.  I hope he has a couple of hours to devote to my box as soon as I get there. 

 

I have some questions about some of those options too.  You know, just eliminating a couple of the options that presented themselves along the line...a couple of neon arrows pointing to the better options...big red circles with slashes through them over some of the less-desirable choices...sure would have made things easier overall. 

 

I think a free will might just be overrated.  A society of kind, obedient, robot-like humans...what's so wrong with that??

 

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  I'm opening myself up for snide comments here, aren't I?  Lots of you philosophical types are chomping at the bit.   

 

Whatever.  Bring it on.

As a kid, I remember having a pretty decent sized Christmas wishlist.  Letters to Santa, visits to sit on his knee, conversations with Mommy and Daddy about what I reeeeeaaaaly wanted...I never ran out of things for which to ask, and there was never a question that there was something.  Every year, my parents did their absolute best to provide the most wanted items on my list, along with several of the less significant things, plus some stuff I didn't ask for but loved anyway.  There were a few years when I remember shaking my head (or crying, depending upon my age) over a couple of the choices they made...a pair of horrible maroon snow boots comes to mind...and a pair of Chic jeans in a very dark wash when pinstripes had just come into fashion...and I wanted a pair of Jordache (you know, back before you could buy Jordache at Walmart...back before Walmart became available in NY) to boot. 

 

My kids have wishlists that make my lists look pitiful.  Sadly, so much on their wishlists is waaayyyy out of the range of possibility...I'm sorry, but if they get the Nintendo DS Lites that they have each asked for, there's a game and an outfit and a pair of pajamas coming with them, and Christmas is done.  Ain't no way they'll be getting new webkinz (ugh), an American Girl Doll (with matching outfit for her), Planet Heroes, the latest Barbie movie, more geotrax, a bearded dragon...you get my point.  When the lists get this long, and you have to explain to your child that the mere fact they have asked for something does not automatically mean they will get it, and you pray that you don't get to Christmas morning and have them disapointed...wow.  Kind of makes you sit back and say, "Am I really screwing things up for my kids?"

 

The fact of the matter is that we live an an over-stuffed society.  We are stuffed to the gills with everything we could possibly want--from the advertisements that fill our favorite television shows to our jam-packed bedrooms, playrooms, living rooms, and kitchens.  I don't have to tell you about what's on TV every single day...your kids can probably sing the jingles as well as my kids can (and we watch very little tv!  They truly write those things so that they stick in your brain...well, duh.  Of course they do.).  And it's not just the kids who have everything handed to them who want more, more, more!!  I will admit, my kids don't go without.  If they want something, they have the opportunity to save up their allowance to purchase it.  And if money comes from some other source (ie. Grandma and Grandpa at Halloween or birthdays), they can add that to whatever they have saved.  The girls just bought their Barbie Girl mp3 players, and Bryson got this fantastic nerf gun set that he loves with saved and given money.  And they have 3 sets of grandparents, and the occasional splurge from Mommy and Daddy.  When you add that to Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, and whatever else comes up...I have three very spoiled children.  However, we don't just run out and get every single thing they want as soon as they see an advertisement.   This does not stop them from wanting everything they see advertised.  So, how do we balance that constant desire to want more with a truly grateful spirit?  Thankfulness for the blessings they receive every single day?  Contentment?  What does it take to build that into your child? 

 

What does it take to build that into yourself?

 

I'm sitting here trying to come up with a Christmas wishlist for my husband and my parents for myself.  I'm having a really bad time with it.  Go figure.  Am I truly content with all that I have and really don't want anything else?  Or do I just not want to take the time to come up with a list so that maybe this year I can be surprised on Christmas day?  Hmm. 

 

Yeah, I'll keep thinking on that one.