48.  We're slipping.

 

Nuts.

High of 68!  Unreal!  Lainie came inside at one point this afternoon and asked if she could change into her swimsuit bottoms!  "Mommy, I'm sweating!" she complained.  What is going to happen when it's 80??  (And let's just pretend that we won't see 40 any more this spring) (Ha.) 

 

I'm not ready to get out their summer clothes and find out how much doesn't fit them.  They've all grown so much this winter, I just can't imagine how short the girls' shorts are going to be, or how high Bryson's shirts will hit him on his belly.  We concluded tonight after a warmer-weather jammie search that everyone needs new jammies (Bryce came out in this outfit that we just about cracked up over...ah, well.  He's growing.  We should be thrilled!  We were pretty sure for a while he was going to stay 26 pounds for the rest of his life!).  The clothing budget will need a bit of padding over the next couple of months, I'm afraid.

 

Ugh. 

It was 66 here today.  66.  Literally double the temperature I predicted it would return to today. 

 

I was officially wrong.

 

Thank heavens.  Maybe I won't leave New York yet. 

 

:)

 

And tomorrow is supposed to be 67!!!  Can I tell you the joy it brings me to have my kids drop into bed from exhaustion at the end of the day because they were able to work off some of their energy on their bikes rather than on my couches (or wearing patterns in my living room carpet!)?  They work so much better when they've not been cooped up in the house for three solid months.  Have you designated "mud clothes" for your kids yet this spring?  We're doing that tomorrow (probably the clothes they wore today would be appropriate mud clothes for the rest of the spring).  I might find one more pair of too-short jeans (although the girls have already designated all those jeans as this year's capris) for each of them to trash.  It amazes me how quickly they wind up on their bottoms in the mucky grass, even when they're supposed to be riding their bikes...

 

I have to tell you one hysterical thing that happened today...

 

I had gotten Lainie up (you know, my kid who would lay in bed until 10:30 if I would let her) (I don't), and brought her downstairs ("Mommy, please carry me down!"), and as she flopped into Daddy's recliner, Reasa headed upstairs to get her clothes around for the day.  Lainie just sat there for a few minutes waiting for her brain to start functioning, and all of a sudden, we heard, "Lainie!!  Come here!!"  Lainie kind of turned around and I said, "Lainie, did you hear Reasa?"  She said, "Yeah.  I wonder if she needs styling tips?"

 

Styling tips???  It was all I could do not to fall on the floor laughing.  She was dead serious.  Who is this kid?  Stacy London??  She hopped out of the recliner and headed up the steps, blankie in hand, and 5 minutes later, both girls came down dressed to the nines, Reasa in some of Lainie's clothes (which later turned disastrous, as Lainie changed her mind about what she wanted to wear and insisted that she really wanted what Reasa was wearing), and vice versa, both looking for matching hair accessories.  When did this happen???  I am in SOOOO much trouble with this kid.   Seven years old and a self-proclaimed fashionista.  ARGH!! 

 

Well, as long as she's happy shopping clearance at Target, I guess we're ok.  :)  We'll see. 

Ok, yesterday's high temp:  52.

 

Today's high temp:  51. 

 

Maybe I spoke too soon. 

 

Not that I'm complaining.  Just surprised.  We shall see.

53 degrees.  Well, so far, so good. 

 

Kids playing outside is a good thing.  A very good thing.  Kids staying up until 10:30...

 

 

...not so much.

I love winter in New York.  For about 3 months. 

 

It has been 4.

 

Now, we had a few weeks in the middle somewhere along the way that were stupid.  Like 60 degrees.  But that doesn't count in New York.  It's a little tease, a little "nah-na-nah-na-nah-naaahhhh."  Today was 60 degrees.  I stood out in the front lawn (OK, I ran through the front lawn chasing my dog who dodged my every lunge) in my jeans and long-sleeved shirt with the sun beating down on my back and started to sweat.  It's a tease, I reminded myself.  Nah-na-nah-na-nah-naaahhh. 

 

Theoretically, it should be in the 50's for the next ten days. 

 

Oh, yeah, I forgot.  I live in New York.  The theoretical never actually materializes.  I'm expecting 30's by Monday.  :)  I'll keep you posted.

I  have come to a point in my life several times where I have realized something had to give. This is another of those times, I'm afraid. You have read about the daily occurences in my life, the things I do, the things with which I fill my time. They run together, they run amuck, they run away from me. Today is no different. This week was no different. I am grateful that God has blessed me with the talents I have, and I have enjoyed turning some of them into hobbies that I love to use. I know that one of my gifts involves children. They just don't make me nuts like they do other people (which tends to make people even more nuts!), even in large numbers, even by myself. I am thankful for the opportunities I have to work with kids--mine and otherwise.  I love to cook and bake, I love to sing, I love to help people out and jam-pack my schedule with projects and jobs and obligations. I'm drained. To the point of wanting to stay in bed for a couple of days and not think.
  

I didn't get to do my devotions this morning, so just now, after finishing up my mom's birthday cheesecake and the above paragraph, I opened up My Utmost for His Highest, and Oswald Chambers had something to say directly to me.  I think I've read through this devotional guide 3 or 4 times in my life, and each time, it speaks to me.  Today he said, "Any ambition which is in the tiniest degree away from this central one of being 'approved unto God' may end in our being castaways.  Learn to discern where the ambition leads, and you will see why it is so necessary to live facing the Lord Jesus Christ."  And later, "I have to learn to relate everything to the master ambition, and to maintain it without any cessation. My worth to God in public is what I am in private. Is my master ambition to please Him and be acceptable to Him, or is it something less, no matter how noble?"  I sit here at my computer thinking once again, "What am I doing with my time that is noble, but not pleasing God?"  It doesn't matter how I am gifted if I am using those gifts to do something to which God has not specifically called me to do.  It may be something incredibly important and worthy of doing, but if it's filling my time, taking me away from that which is His ambition, then it simply steals my time. 

 

I need to sit down with a piece of paper and list all of the stuff I'm doing and compare it with the things I know I should be doing to achieve being "approved unto God."  Which, by extension, means that I need to spend time in prayer, pursuing what God is actually expecting of me right now.  What I hate about this is that I know there will be people along the way who are disappointed because I have to say no or let go of a current commitment...and I also hate that this isn't the first time I've had to step back and do this.  It happens every few years.  Somehow I forget that I can only do so much, and that there is a limit to the good things I can do and still do them all to the very best of my ability.  And that is what is in question right now.  If I'm doing too much, I can't do things like mother and school my children to the best of my ability...there is always something pulling me in another direction.  And that is my number one priority. 

 

I wonder if I still have my piece of paper from the last time I did this?  I wonder if it already says what I need to know??

 

If you are one of the people to whom I have to say "no" in the next few weeks, I apologize in advance.  I don't do that well, so I may botch it and have to come back to you later.  If you are someone who struggles with this over-doing-it disease, please pray with me as I prioritize (and tell me, so that I can be praying with you!!).   And if you have any suggestions for me...well, I'm open.

 

Blessings...

is not what you're going to find here tonight.  You know, when life is insane, it is not the time to try to come up with something inspiring.  Not that anything I ever blog about would inspire, but sometimes there is a comment I want to share, or an outlook or an observation or something.  Nope.  Not tonight.  Tonight is about documenting activity. 

 

Can you tell it's been a long day?

 

I had 6 cherubs in my home today.  They were wonderful, honestly.  The additional three fit right in with the rest of the crowd...each individually doing his or her part to keep the others occupied.  At one point, I had the baby napping while the other five all sat in the living room in various stages of listening--the oldest two actively listening as they drew pictures relating to what I read (The Twenty-One Balloons), and the younger three more passively listening as they drew, wrote, skimmed other books and did headstands on the furniture and somersaults off it (don't tell Daddy!!).  At another point, the oldest two practiced their cursive penmanship, the baby ate his lunch, the younger two practiced their printing (and the toddler got picked up by her Daddy) while they patiently waited for their lunch to come.  An hour and a half later, all five settled into naps (Wednesday is nap day in the Frazer household).  Now, interestingly, this does not speak to my ability as a parent/child care provider.  They are just plain good kids, and they obey when they're told to do something (for the most part).  Even the baby does what he's supposed to do (which definitely speaks volumes for his Mommy--she's got her 11-month-old on a consistent schedule and that's no small feat--the two I'm watching this week and next are home with their Mom full-time all the time and Mommy and Daddy are on a cruise right now.  So, Grandparents and I are keeping the kids.  It works out.).

 

What I find interesting in all of this is that, despite the fact that the day went smoothly...we got all of our school done, everyone got naps, the house got basically cleaned, and I made and decorated a cake this afternoon...I'm totally and completely exhausted.  Having extras wipes me out!  It's just that addition to the routine, I think, and the extra running around.  An 11-month-old gets into things.  He just does.  And he requires maintenance that I'm not accustomed to any more...bottles, chopping up food, bibs, high chairs, diaper changes, rescues from dog water bowls and too-small toys...

 

Have I mentioned that my kids have started praying for a baby brother?  I mean, this is no joke...they're praying hard.  I laugh.  Wouldn't that be hysterical?  This all came out of Bryson coming into the girls room one night when I was snuggling with them--our nightly ritual--and he was crying..."Mommy, how come the girls get to share a room but I have to sleep alone?  I want to sleep with the girls!"  To which I responded, "Bryson, you have your own nice Buzz Lightyear room, and your own comfy bed.  You need to sleep in there.  You're such a big boy.  You can sleep alone."  He was not convinced.  "But Mommy, why didn't you have another baby?  I wanted a baby brother to sleep with.  Can you have a baby brother please?"  I didn't really get into the depth of the discussion with him, but I did tell him that we were all done having babies and that the only way Mommy would have any more kids was if God decided we needed another baby.  And that probably wasn't going to happen. 

 

Try telling a 5-year-old that God has a different plan than he has.  (Try explaining the permanence of a vasectomy to your 5-year-old.) 

 

He has been praying fervently ever since.  He is convinced that God is going to give him a baby brother.   When he prays at bedtime, he asks.  If I pray at bedtime and forget to talk to God about a baby brother, "Mommy!!  My baby brother!!"  When he prays for a meal, "And God, please give us a baby brother.  I will love him for a long, long, long, long time!"  And the girls have gotten in on this too.  Lainie prays something like, "And if you give us a baby brother, God, I will change his diapers and get him bottles and clean his room and wipe his nose and do whatever I have to do to help with him!!"  Reasa is very matter-of-fact: "God, Bryson needs a baby brother to share his room and play with."  Every day I explain that God's plan isn't always what we think it should be and that he knows exactly what we need even when we can't possibly know and that we don't always get what we want just because we pray.  And every day one of them says, "But Mommy, what if God does want us to have a baby?"  :)  We'll see about that. 

 

I'm not going to stop them from praying.

 

I said today was a long day.  And it was.  But it was a good day.  Just to make a comment, today was the first day in months that I began the day with devotions and prayer, and that all of that happened before any of my children were awake.  This is not something I am proud of--what a slacker in these past months!!--but there is something to be said about making a plan, making a priority, and then sticking to it, while you seek God in the process.  Today Oswald Chambers talked about Obedience in My Utmost for His Highest (it's online!  www.myutmost.org).  He talked about living a life in slavery to ourselves...today, I chose to yield myself to him...at 6:30 in the morning.  And he walked me through the whole day with lovely children.  Does that guarantee a perfect tomorrow with them if I do the same thing?  No.  But can I walk through even a rough day with 6 kids if he is in control?

 

Yup. 

 

6:30 is going to come early tomorrow.  G'night friends.

 

 

Washing a pile of dishes from the afternoon.

Folding a load of laundry.

Putting the sheets back on my bed.

Picking up the miscellaneous floam and playdough tools on the kitchen table.  By the way, Floam?  Yeah, don't bother.

Dusting.  Yeah right.

Covering Bryson's birthday cookie with plastic wrap.

Finding my kitchen countertop.  Assuming I still have a kitchen countertop somewhere under there.

Sorting through the kids' school work from today.  What to keep?  What to toss?

Deciding what the kids should do for school tomorrow.

Watching Grey's Anatomy.  The critical weekly ritual.

Praying for my friend Kendra's son, Lukas.  He has pneumonia.  Just found out today.

Deciding why any of this matters to anyone else reading my blog.

Going to sleep.  (Nah.  It's not midnight yet.)

Putting the rest of the groceries away.

Balancing the checkbook.  HA!

Planning Reasa's Birthday party.

Making 11 little leashes out of ribbon.  Don't ask. 

Learning how to play the recorder.

 

You know, it's funny how something like this blog entry prompts you to act.  :)  I typed all that stuff, and just couldn't handle it anymore, so I stopped typing and actually did 5 or 6 things on that list.  The guilt starts to go away when you do that.  Amazing. 

 

What I should be doing right now is finishing the list.  I'll let you know how much of it actually gets done tomorrow.  By this time tomorrow night (after Reasa's first day of celebration), I will need the sanity check.  How did birthdays become such a production???

 

By the way, my baby is 5.  He has been five for 5 hours and 30 minutes, exactly.  We had such a fun day today, although, he very graciously shared a large chunk of his afternoon with two families who have just had babies and needed meals delivered to them.  He spent the whole day talking about how this was HIS BIRTHDAY (his emphasis, every time he said it), and now he was five.  He didn't remember about the no napping every day once he turned five, but then, I never even mentioned naps today (I was so grateful they were occupied with a movie while I ran around the kitchen like a chicken with my head cut off--try making meals and desserts for two families between 1:30 and 3:00 when your kids have to be at gymnastics at 3:30, and you are missing two main ingredients (cheese for the taco casserole, and milk for the cornbread!!) for the meals and know you have to stop at the store before you go to the Y!!).  My parents stopped by before dinner to drop off Bryson's presents--a new pair of jeans (thank you, Mom and Dad!) and a Wacky Bear in a football uniform, cleats and all (think Build A Bear, only with a blinking beating heart!) which they bought on their vacation in NC a few weeks ago.  He loved it.  He also opened the rest of his gift from us (did I tell you about his basketball hoop which now hangs in the middle of the wall in my family room?), and he and his sisters spent a few short minutes zooming around the house on his new 3-wheeled Superman scooter (Mommy feels better with three wheels than 2 at this age).  Seth talked him out of his chosen McDonalds for dinner in favor of the local Chinese Buffet (honestly, I would have preferred McDonalds, but Seth hates it)...we have now figured out that the real reason the kids love McDonalds so much is because of the toys, so Seth bribed Bryson with a trip to the dollar store for a toy after the Chinese Place...he was in his glory (and so was Seth)!!  I'm pretty sure I'm going to grow very weary of 3 children playing recorders through the house tomorrow, so I have to figure out how to actually make music with them (they came in two-packs, so there is one for me to learn on whilst they play)...this ought to be interesting...wish me luck.

 

In 24 hours and 8 minutes, my Reasa will be 8.  The girls have been 7 together for their allotted time, and now, I will have an 8-year-old.  Seriously, how did this happen?? 

 

Have you ever just wanted to stop the clock?  The calendar?  I'm there. 

 

 

For the past three weeks, since Bryson realized that his birthday party came next after Lainie's (much to Reasa's chagrin--she just does NOT understand why she is the oldest and gets her birthday last every year...try explaining that to a 7-year-old), we have been on a daily, sometimes hourly countdown to the actual time we would celebrate with his friends.  We tend to drag these things out...a friend birthday party, a just-the-five-of-us-and-MeMe-and-Ompy party on the actual BIRTHday, and an extended family birthday party typically the Sunday afternoon after the actual day.  We just enjoy spoiling each child royally at every given opportunity.  :)  I have never seen a kid so impatient to get to an event!  "But Mommy, it's just taking SO LONG to get here!" he whined to me every single day.  "Buddy," I would say to him, "there are still 14 more sleeps until your birthday.  You have to be patient!!  I can't listen to you do this for the next two weeks!"  And yet, that's just what we did.  He went on and on and on.  Every time we talked about it, I had to reinforce the fact that his actual birthday was 5 days after his party--he didn't understand why he wouldn't be getting his present or his birthday dinner the day of his friend party--and that Lukie, his much adored friend, wasn't going to be able to be there.  Oh, my goodness, the trauma!!  Every Day!!  Every time he thought about it!!  Trauma, trauma, trauma!!  I seriously wanted to pull my hair out by the actual day of the party. 

 

To add insult to injury, not only did one of his favorite girl friends not make it to the party, Mommy almost forgot to invite his other girl friend, and the morning of the party itself, my niece and nephew (whom, if Bryson had his way to begin with, would have been his only guests) came down with the stomach flu and couldn't come after all.  He was so disappointed.  He laid down on the couch and cried after he got off the phone with Ethan (have you ever heard a 6-year-old boy and an almost 5-year-old boy have a phone conversation?  It was hysterical)...big huge alligator tears.  My heart just broke for him.  We semi-made up for it by promising that Ethan and Leah would come on Monday for their own private party (nothing like dragging the festivities out even more) if they were feeling better by then...he accepted it somewhat hesitantly...what could he do, really?  The girls were so funny about the whole ordeal, though.  When they found out there were only going to be two little kids actually bringing gifts to Bryson, they scrambled around trying to find something among their things they could wrap up and give to him.  They agreed on giving him the doll pack-and-play they all play with constantly--transferring ownership to Bryson with the understanding that he would share, of course.  This may sound silly, but he plays fervently with the girls when they play house--and he even has his own boy dolls that he includes in their games--this pack-and-play is his favorite thing.  It was one of those moments with the girls that I was just so proud of them for being compassionate.  Bryson didn't care one bit...he thought his Cars Mack Truck and his new Lightning McQueen car along with his motorcycle and book were just the nuts...he didn't seem to notice that at Lainie's party, she opened 8 or 9 gifts (while being surrounded by 8 or 9 screaming 7-year-olds).  Lainie noticed, though.  They so love their little brother.  That was one of those good mommy moments you find yourself in the middle of occasionally.  Thank heavens for those moments along the way.  The party was a whopping success, I think, and I didn't run around like a lunatic the morning of the party, which is not typical.  My mom came at 12:00 to help me finish getting ready, and everything was done!!  The party didn't start till 2!!  What a nice, relaxed way to have things work out...it will never happen again, but I will revel in those moments the next time I'm losing my mind before a party.

 

If you have looked at the pictures of his party above, you'll notice my parents leaning against a box with Lightning McQueen on the front.  My parents are the best parents...I am so thankful for them.  On Friday, I called my dad to ask him if they still had the box his big TV came in--they got it after Christmas, and they did--and then if he would let me have it for a game for Bryson's party.  Sure--they would be getting rid of it anyway, he said.  Then, knowing I wouldn't have time to do it myself along with the cake and everything else, I asked him if he would be willing to sketch a big Lightning McQueen on the side of the box for me to paint and use as a bean bag toss for the party. He agreed to this (I was pretty sure he would), and I told him I would get it from him on Saturday morning.  Well, at about 9am Saturday , I got a phone call asking if I was ready to paint the box...which I was...or I thought I was.  He started laughing and said it was a good thing I didn't have to paint it--it had taken them over THREE HOURS to paint that crazy car!!  I was so thankful they had done it!!  There was no way I would have gotten that thing done.  And seriously, I never would have been able to paint it like they did.  Thank God for my Dad's artistic ability, and my mom's willingness to stretch outside her comfort zone!  My poor parents must just shake their heads at me with the crazy things I come up with to do for kid parties.

 

And the crazy cake...seriously, if you're doing a Lightning McQueen cake, plan far enough in advance that you can order the actual Lightning McQueen cake pan--there is one, and it costs like 11.99 right from the Wilton website or Michaels...and it would be so much easier than trying to wing it from the older race car pan Wilton made (just trust me on this one).  Bryson absolutely didn't care--as far as he was concerned, it was an exact replica, and that's all that mattered--but it stressed me out that it wasn't quite right.  Ah, well.  It tasted pretty good.  I stole the cupcake idea from someone else--I take no credit for that bit of creativity.

 

Have I mentioned how much I adore my children?  There is nothing quite like the looks on their faces when they see their birthday cake for the first time, or the way they throw themselves into the party that they helped plan.  If you think of it, please pray for us this week as we plan for Reasa's birthday party next weekend...I didn't order her supplies in time, and they won't make it before her party right now, so we're going for plan b, and I'm trying to make this work for her...she's always the kid who seems to have to make alternate plans (she's not your frilly, girly party type.  More difficult to pull together).  I hate that I have to ask her to do that...especially given what I said earlier about her birthday coming last...I need to really do a good job for this one.  ARGH!!  THE PRESSURE!!!

 

Blessings, everyone.  Hope you had a great weekend.