Well, as you can see by the pictures, we've had a couple of additions to our home over the past few days...and unfortunately, a subtraction.  We decided about a week and a half ago that we needed to replace our probably-not-in-the-greatest-shape-because-it-spent-the-winter-outdoors pool, and the only place we could find what we were looking for at a reasonable price was at walmart.com.  So, we ordered the 18'x42" metal-sided going-to-make-the-kids'-entire-summer pool on a Friday, sadly realizing it was going to take 2-4 weeks for delivery. Six days later (last Thursday), the UPS guy delivered the huge boxes to our front porch (amidst squeals of delight from three small children).  The next day, Seth got a phone call from his brother offering us their used trampoline...which Seth gratefully accepted and picked up unbeknownst to the kids...and set it up while I had them at my mom and dad's.  You should have seen their faces when we pulled up to the house with the thing standing in the back lawn...On Saturday, Seth (with the help of our neighbor and his Kabota) prepped the back lawn and set up the pool, filling it between Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening.  The kids literally spent the weekend on the trampoline, and Monday in the pool.  The freezing cold, turn-your-lips-purple pool.  :)  Today the kids finally crashed...they actually spent an hour and a half watching a Rescue Heroes movie at rest time today...let me just say that bedtime has been extremely uneventful the last four days.  They're absolutely wiped out!  I am amazed at how tired they are after spending the entire day doing serious physical activity.  This morning, the first kid woke up at 8:15, and the last one (Bryson) came downstairs at 8:45.  I have been enjoying climbing on the trampoline with them, and have relived some of my very young gymnastics experiences...teaching the kids what I did "when I was little" and turning it into a little game with them.  They get all excited (and follow me in) every time I climb on the tramp.  I haven't yet ventured into the pool--it's still really, really cold, and I've learned that I'm a lot wimpier with cold pool water than I was as a kid...I'll take a good book or a game of sudoku while the cherubs splash, thank you very much.  I played in my garden yesterday while they swam, so something productive does happen while they play their day away.  Not much, mind you, but something.  I think it's been a week since I vaccumed my house.  ARGH!!  Let's not talk about my kitchen sink right now.  I did start cleaning the basement today.  I suddenly realized how many cobwebs I walked through every time I walked downstairs fo something, and how much I hate walking through cobwebs...and I've been dreading the gas company guy coming to read the meter the past 3 times he's come (and considering he might come every other month) because the basement is such a disaster...it's antiprocrastination week with Flylady, so off I went to do something I've been putting off.  The attic is next week.  It's pretty hot up there right now...ugh.  Maybe I'll wait until a rainy, cool day.  Speaking of rain...we could really use some.  Time to go check wunderground.com to see what we have to look forward to over the next few days.

 

Oh, and our subtraction...poor Stitch, Bryson's bunny, died today.  He was a whopping year and a half old, and I have some guilt about this...I'm afraid he died of heat stroke today.  I don't know exactly what heat stroke looks like in a bunny, but I'm pretty sure he was hot.  Yes, he had water, but it was warm, sitting out in the sun, and so was he...I think the sun had been shining on their cages (he and Charlotte were both in the sun today when the afternoon sun hit the back lawn) for about two hours when the kids ran inside shrieking, "Mommy!!  Come quick!! Stitch is making a wierd sound!!"  It had been my intention to move them when the sun moved today...and I got busy...what I can't figure out is why he freaked out and Charlotte didn't, if it truly was heat stroke.  Anyway, the kids buried him (with Daddy's help) with much ceremony (and a decorated cardboard box bearing his name in permanent marker and his portrait, of course) next to where his babies are buried (our other bunny, Lily, didn't take care of any of her newborn babies...so we had to bury them last spring...)(oh, long story).  Interestingly, Bryson didn't seem to be devestated by this turn of events, which surprised me.  Reasa took it very hard, but she had adopted Stitch as her own, more or less, when we had to get rid of her bunny, Lily, when she started to bite us...well, me (and as I'm the only one who cleans the cages, well, that kind of made things difficult).  Charlotte, unfortunately, is not terribly friendly...but one bunny...well, I guess I can deal with one bunny better than three. 

 

If your kids ask for bunnies, say no.  Seriously.  We learned our lesson.  Let it be one we learned for you too.  We might think about hamsters or gerbils when they're teenagers and can clean the cages and completely take care of them by themselves, but no more bunnies.  Argh.

 

I hope all of you are enjoying your summer...we sure are loving ours!!!  Thanks to Carole for being a constant source of entertainment--she blogs almost daily!  Check out her site (see her link!); I can almost guarantee you'll love her as much as I do!

I attended the wedding of a friend exactly a year ago today. Now, to many who may read this, a wedding may seem everyday-ish--you attend a few every year, and they become common, but this wedding was far from ordinary. Don't get me wrong--it had all the usual pieces...the nervous bride, the scripture readings, the smiling groom, the special music, the unity candle, the pastoral prayers, the "oh, I was supposed to hold which one of her hands?" moments...but something was different. I have never seen a man so in love with a woman. I have never seen a man so moved by the woman he was marrying, so consumed with the words he spoke, so captured by the pastor's prayer, or brought to tears by "I Will Be Here." His handkerchief, tucked carefully into his pocket before the ceremony, never stayed in that pocket longer than 3 minutes throughout the journey through the order of service.

There is a part of each of us that snickers a little bit at the thought of Jay and how happy he is today. He is 35, and he so wanted to find the right girl and get married. When he met and began to date Cheri, we all saw the writing on the wall...it was as if God had dropped her right into his lap. Though I don't know Cheri well, my impression of her is that she's a sweet, down-to-earth, fun-loving girl who will balance this slightly retentive, somewhat uptight, incredibly perfectionistic man nicely. But all you have to do is watch his face when he is with her to know that he is smitten...over the moon...star-struck by Cheri. Their wedding day proved that, and even now, the fact remains. Though Cheri was moved on their day, Jay was beyond emotional.

Our Pastor's wife read a scripture passage from Ephesians during the ceremony, and I had never heard it from the Message. If you haven't read the Message before, this passage may motivate you to get a copy (or check out bible.com and plunk "The Message" in the translation box when you look up a reference).

Ephesians 5:22-28
^{22 -24}Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

^{25 -28}Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.

Jay goes all out in his love for Cheri. We laugh at him about it because this is so unusual in our culture. He dotes on her, cherishes her, always has a protective arm around her. Do we really go all out in our love for anyone (other than our children) beyond those sweet days of courtship? I say this with some amount of cynicism, because this is where I am, and I have no doubt that someone is up in arms reading this, saying, "Hey! I still go all out and I've been married 20 years!" Interestingly, I never realized how little of this passage is actually devoted to instructing the wife--she is to understand, support, and submit to her husband. Wow. Still a big job, but read on. The husband is to lead his wife, cherish her, go all out in his love for her, speak words which evoke her beauty, bring out the best in her, and dress her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness, and on top of all that, to love her...and by doing so, he is doing himself a favor. I am sure that Jay and Cheri have "their moments;" those disagreements that creep in because, though crazy about each other, they do maintain their humanness. No doubt they get angry, they misunderstand, they forget to listen (or take out the trash). But their devotion to each other and the outward signs of commitment they display...these are qualities I am reminded through their relationship that I need to strive for in my own.

Yesterday, my cousin Mike and his bride, Sarah, walked down the aisle, hand in hand, after the pastor pronounced them husband and wife. They will spend the first year and 3 months of their marriage living from Ontario to Oklahoma apart. My prayer for them is that they are able to find that commitment and devotion somewhere in the mundane, everyday existence that marriage can become, even long distance...that they will discover that deeper love that God requires of us in our marriages. That they will maintain the passion they share for each other now, and delve into intimacy that goes beyond mere physical love. That they will "go all out" for each other every single day.

My prayer for me is that I can live out the same thing, ten years into a marriage, and 5 feet from the husband I chose.

My friend Dee asked me this weekend if there was one time in my life when I felt the most organized, the most "together," and the most calm, when would that have been?  I thought about it for a minute, and seriously, what I came up with was:  "About 6 months after Bryson was born."  I know, nuts, right?  I mean, realistically, I had a 6-month-old, a 2 1/2-year-old, and a 3 1/2-year-old, I was a stay-at-home mom with a new business as a Creative Memories consultant (I started when I was about 6 months pregnant for Bryson), and I was running.  Crazy.  But interestingly, and probably out of desperation, I had to figure out a way to get my life in order, or at least my home and my kids in order.  One day, someone told me I should try this website which I referred to in my entry the other day--Flylady.  She talked about having a home that was in CHAOS--Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome (with which I could so totally relate--you know, the "Oh, my gosh, if someone walks in my house right now, I will die!!" feeling?  I don't know, maybe you can't relate at all)--and that we're all distracted perfectionists who have turned into procrastinators because things are so disorganized.  Oh, yeah, I was there.  She broke things down into small steps, 15 minutes at a time, and I decluttered my house, organized my tools and rooms, and put routines into place to clean my house and keep it tidy.  All of a sudden, I felt like I knew what needed to be done on a given day, and that the whole house was actually getting cleaned every month.  Like walls getting wiped down, furniture getting vacuumed under, oven cleaned out every month; floor mopped, sheets changed, laundry finished and put away, dusting done every week kind of cleaned.  Now, I have a wonderful friend who was Born Organized--another Flylady term.  I love Kara so much, but I'm sure she can't possibly even begin to relate to not having routines...she has had them since I met her, I think, and we were 14 and 15 at the time.  I always envied her organization.  I started to understand it when I was doing it. 

 

Then we moved.  From an 800 square foot house to a 2000 square foot house.  My routines?  Yeah, right.  All of a sudden I had 2 living rooms rather than one, a dining room I didn't have before, double the kitchen space, an additional bathroom, more floors to vacuum, more floors to mop, a porch to clean, a back yard to tidy, double the garden space, etc., etc., etc.  Holy crap.  For four years, my home has been on the very verge of chaos.  An endless cycle of child raising, school, ministry, life, and anything else that has come along...and no time taken to put the routines in place that would put me back in that time where I felt organized and together...and here I am.  Ready for some serious decluttering, sorting, keeping/giving/trashing. 

 

It's time for routines.  I'm a tiny bit obsessive about the process at the moment, but it will feel so good when it's allllllll decluttered and I can just go with the routines.  The next step is to get the kids involved in their own routines...like the chores we're pretty good about doing before school every morning.  After I get their rooms and their toys organized, this will happen much more realistically...they need the tools and the processes as much as I do.  I'm learning. 

 

This whole wife/homemaker thing...you know, when you picture the job you dream of before it actually happens, and this is what I always dreamed of, you just don't realize how much is involved in it on a day-to-day basis...

Last year, my sister Sarah and I went with her Mom to the New York State LEAH Convention in Syracuse for the Friday sessions and seminars and to wander through the curriculum "fair."  As an...ahem...experienced homeschooler, I felt confident in my teaching ability, the decisions I had made regarding curriculum in the past and for the coming year, and in my position as a mom.  We attended 2 actual seminars after driving the roundabout way to the state fairgrounds, sat in and walked through extremely hot buildings to search through books and curriculum and programs, and drove the roundabout way home.  I listened as I heard people recount 25 years of homeschooling their 6 children, and all they did and encountered while they homeschooled--home businesses, dads who taught along with the moms, projects families worked through, colleges children attended early, trips incorporated into schooling...and planning, planning, and more planning.  I walked away with a full brain, a lot of new ideas, a great feeling about the curriculum I planned to use in the fall...and this overwhelming feeling that I wasn't doing nearly everything I could do with my homeschooling.  That so many people were doing it better than I could do it.  That I didn't have all the tools I needed to homeschool as well as I should.  That finding those tools would cost a lot more than I could afford in both time and money.  Disorganized.  Ill-prepared.  Overwhelmed.  Very, very selfish and a little tiny bit crazy.

 

Because we spent only the afternoon at the convention, I think, this small time frame allowed me to slightly digest the information, and quickly move on.  Also, having the convention at the very end of the school year means that you have just 2 weeks left to implement the information, then a whole summer to put it out of your mind.  Ta Daaahh!!  September comes again after spending the whole summer finding the curriculum you were looking for at a realistic price, rationalizing not buying the spelling curriculum because you'll incorporate what is actually being covered in the reading and language programs, and settling for a science text you're not quite sure about.  The school year flies by, and in June, exhausted, you realize it's time for another homeschool convention.  This past weekend, my sister Sarah, our brand-new-to-homeschooling friend Dee and I attended again...a bit more prepared, ready to spend the night and absorb every ounce of information presented.  Yeah.  We thought last year was overwhelming.  Uh huh. 

 

I'm still exhausted.  Not from walking in the 90 degree heat.  Not from taking notes through 9 seminars.  Not from pouring over hundreds of books on strategy and learning styles and parenting and teaching tips and worldview and...well, you get the point.  From trying to process the information.  From realizing how much I really need to put into practice.  From getting home and actually trying to do something about the conviction I felt last year that things should be done differently in my home.  I realized at the beginning of this school year that homeschooling 3 kids, babysitting and living life meant that some things around my house and in my life were going to have to give...unfortunately, the thing that "gave" was any semblence of order in my house--the routines I should have put in place when we moved into this house (four years ago now) got put off yet again, and here I am, in chaos again.  Out came my flylady control journal, from underneath the inches of dust, and we're two days into routines...I can actually find the cleaning supplies in my kitchen cabinet (because we're in Zone 2--the Kitchen this week).  School...well, with only a week to go, nothing dramatic is changing right now, but I have goals written down for the fall, and curriculum/program ideas to put into place.  I feel like I'm in a much better place than I was last year.  I will go to the convention again next year, and I think I'll take less notes...can you say 25 pages of notes??  Ugh!